Ferris Bueller’s Day Off Sequel!? What the heck? Super Bowl promo, apparently.
(Source: youtube.com)
Let’s all just sing this over and over again.
Screenwriting Tip #871
If you’ve got a zealous, all-encompassing worldview to sell, your screenplay is not the place for it. Readers/audiences can smell preaching from a mile away.
Who needs stuff to look forward to?
Exactly. And what could be more exhilarating than chatting about a whole slate of films scheduled for released in the calendar year we’re currently in? There is nothing more exhilarating. So let’s begin.
This year, like every year, will be about Michael Fassbender. So let’s take a look at what the cheeky rascal has got in store for us in 2012.
Shame. I saw it at the London Film Festival last year, and aside from Fasty B doing some excellent running that rivals Tom Cruise’s technique, it’s obviously also quite a serious film about sex addiction. And very good it is too. Even Carey Mulligan manages to act a bit, and although it’s not exactly particularly comfortable viewing, it’s thought-provoking, provocative and a fascinating story to watch unfold. And yes, there is a shot of Fassbender’s cock, swaying as he walks. But in the context of the story, you don’t really notice it. Honest. It’s out next week (the film, not his cock).
Haywire Inevitably I am always excited about anything Steven Soderbergh does, not just as a director but also as a producer. Yup, one thing you can say about Sodders is that he always keep it interesting. So he thought to himself last year, hmmmm, Gina Carano, that champion Mixed Martial Arts fighter? She’d be good in an action film where she plays a black ops super soldier getting payback when she’s betrayed on a mission. Then he adds Fassbender, Douglas, Banderas, McGregor and Paxton. Sold to the mid 30s writer currently typing this at her desk! It’s out Jan 20th.
Prometheus Okay, so apparently it was originally conceived as a prequel to Alien, but then subsequent rewrites turned it into a totally unconnected story to Alien. Whatever. IT’S A PREQUEL TO ALIEN. Starring Michael Fassbender. It’s out in June.
I think that’s enough Fassing about. Here’s some other films coming out that I’m excited about/you should therefore also be excited about.
The Descendants I made a huge mistake with this film. I read the excellent book that Alexander Payne adapted it from TWO WEEKS BEFORE I SAW THE MOVIE. What a dickhead. So basically I want you all to go and see it and tell me how brilliant it is, because I liked it, but I didn’t love it, but I think I made a huge mistake with my reading the book then seeing the film time scale ratio. So please, go and see it and prove me wrong when it comes out at the end of January. I will go and see it again and also prove myself wrong.
The Bourne Legacy. Before you all go off on one about how there is no Bourne without Damon or Greengrass, let me stop you and say that I agree with you in so many ways, but here are the ways that I don’t. Tony Gilroy is writing and directing, and Tony Gilroy wrote Identity, Supremacy and Ultimatum. He also directed Michael Clayton, which is a very good film. Also, Edward Norton is in this. WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN ALL MY LIFE EDWARD NORTON? And so is Rachel Weisz. And Finney and Glenn and Allen have all returned. They’re getting the Bourne band back together again! Without Damon. BUT WITH JEREMY RENNER. Renner rules. Now don’t tell me you’re not convinced by my argument? Get some rest, readers. You look tired. CUE MOBY.
Ted. The live action feature film debut from Family Guy creator Seth MacFarlane. Starring Mark Wahlberg as a man whose childhood teddy bear comes to life. What happens when the funniest man currently working in US television moves across to the world of movies? Who knows. Either way, I’m excited.
Okay, let’s speed this up now and throw some other promising films into the mix. In terms of blockbusters, we’ve obviously got the new Batman, the new Spiderman and the new Bond. I’m obviously looking forward to all three, but Andrew Garfield being given great power and responsibility makes me feel VERY EXCITED and Sam Mendes taking the Bond directorial reigns makes me very hopeful indeed. Yeah yeah yeah, there’s The Hobbit, but that’s like a whole year away, so by the time it opens we’ll all feel like we’ve seen it anyway. Two films I can actively tell you not to bother with this year are Carnage and Young Adult. The former is like watching actors ACT (and then be sick on tables) and the latter is tonally off, miscast and trying to be way too clever in terms of its storytelling.
Right! That’s enough for now. Let’s reconvene in a few months. Say, after the awards season. But on a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being ‘totally un-exhilarated’ and 10 being ‘totally exhilarated’, what number would you be? I’m going to say ‘10’.
A cat massaging a dog. My Christmas gift to you.
The Graduate, 1967 (dir. Mike Nichols)
